I swear to God if this doesn't make you wet yourself laughing there is something wrong with you.
Its just that simple.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
And Relax.........
I did it!
I worked 27 consecutive shifts.
So whats next, I hear you ask. Well I have one night off then I have another 2 full days to do and that will be the end of my 16days/160hours.
I have been keeping up with my tally charts.
14days worked.
29 Teas
80 Coffeess
20 Red Bulls
137 hours worked!
I should be able to put in about 10 hours a day over the next 2 days which will take me up to 157 hours, just shy of my original mark, but not bad going really.
After this is all done I will have two weeks (t-twoooooo weeeeekkks) off work. But I have to go in for two of those. One is a meeting with a National Manager, and the other is blogging material. Such good material it is that I am going to class it higher than aces and knock it up a notch and proclaim it *BAM* GOLDEN!
But more on that later.
Would also like to point out to anyone thats interested this is happening. Bloody thing won't let me copy the proper link. But look the Sci-Fi weekend is back. Bobba Fet AND the little dude from Willow what more can you ask for. Needless to say I am going and jecka is coming with.
I hope to see you there!
I should have gotten enough sleep by then so will be ready to wear myself out by running around like an idiot!
I worked 27 consecutive shifts.
So whats next, I hear you ask. Well I have one night off then I have another 2 full days to do and that will be the end of my 16days/160hours.
I have been keeping up with my tally charts.
14days worked.
29 Teas
80 Coffeess
20 Red Bulls
137 hours worked!
I should be able to put in about 10 hours a day over the next 2 days which will take me up to 157 hours, just shy of my original mark, but not bad going really.
After this is all done I will have two weeks (t-twoooooo weeeeekkks) off work. But I have to go in for two of those. One is a meeting with a National Manager, and the other is blogging material. Such good material it is that I am going to class it higher than aces and knock it up a notch and proclaim it *BAM* GOLDEN!
But more on that later.
Would also like to point out to anyone thats interested this is happening. Bloody thing won't let me copy the proper link. But look the Sci-Fi weekend is back. Bobba Fet AND the little dude from Willow what more can you ask for. Needless to say I am going and jecka is coming with.
I hope to see you there!
I should have gotten enough sleep by then so will be ready to wear myself out by running around like an idiot!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
There's a gringo In The Bingo
As some of you are aware I read at least 2 books to Jekca every night she stays over. These are always Dr Seuess books as she loves them.
One of them is called "There's a wocket in my pocket" It's a very short story about a boy that lives in ahouse with some very unusual characters.
For example we are expected to belive that there is a "Findow" in his window, and a "bofa" on his sofa. You get the idea. The book ends with the lines "I don't care if you belive it, thats the kind of house I live in, and I hope we never leave it"
Well my place of work is exactly the same. Its host to many different types of people (customers and staff alike) and wether you belive it or not they exist. Only difference is I hope to one day move on and escape this mad house, although I have this horrible feeling that all Bingo places are the ruddy same.
We were all stood around today and mocking a customer that sits right at the back of the hall. He sits there cause he is always coughing. Nothing out of the ordinary there, the guy coughs so what? Well he is constantly smoking which can't be helping. Plus to ease his coughing he drinks about 12 pints of premium beer.
Ok I know what you are thinking, "an alcoholic chain smoker that coughs AND plays bingo? Surely not!"
But thats not all! And yes, please don't call me Shirley.
You see this man.....................has a blue face. He is so fat, that I belive, he is cutting off all flow of blood to his head AND blocking his throat, thats why he coughs so pigging much. Now you must agree a fat man with a blue face thats not a member of the Blue Man Group is something out of the ordinary.
But then this is the conversation that took place
Craigy: I hate that guy, he is clearly un-healthy yet continues to smoke non-stop and drink non-stop. I mean he has a blue face, thats not normal. When he holds his cig to his face his hand is a different colour, thats just plain wrong.
M: I call him Choker, just cause he is always coughing like a git, never pauses apart from to down his beer in three gulps. Thats what scares me, drinking that bloody quick.
Craigy: Thats what scares you? Not the blue face that he has?
M: Well that as well.
*chuckle from all around*
*Another member of staff walks around*
AMOS (AKA S): What are we laughing at?
Craigy: The guy with the blue face.
S: Oh alright, do these trays need doing still?
No thought, no worry, just accepted that there is a guy with a blue face and carried on with the job in hand.
One day I will catalouge all the weirdos that work and are customers in my place and have them all for display!
I don't care if you belive it, thats the shit hole I work in, and I hope to leave it.........very soon!
One of them is called "There's a wocket in my pocket" It's a very short story about a boy that lives in ahouse with some very unusual characters.
For example we are expected to belive that there is a "Findow" in his window, and a "bofa" on his sofa. You get the idea. The book ends with the lines "I don't care if you belive it, thats the kind of house I live in, and I hope we never leave it"
Well my place of work is exactly the same. Its host to many different types of people (customers and staff alike) and wether you belive it or not they exist. Only difference is I hope to one day move on and escape this mad house, although I have this horrible feeling that all Bingo places are the ruddy same.
We were all stood around today and mocking a customer that sits right at the back of the hall. He sits there cause he is always coughing. Nothing out of the ordinary there, the guy coughs so what? Well he is constantly smoking which can't be helping. Plus to ease his coughing he drinks about 12 pints of premium beer.
Ok I know what you are thinking, "an alcoholic chain smoker that coughs AND plays bingo? Surely not!"
But thats not all! And yes, please don't call me Shirley.
You see this man.....................has a blue face. He is so fat, that I belive, he is cutting off all flow of blood to his head AND blocking his throat, thats why he coughs so pigging much. Now you must agree a fat man with a blue face thats not a member of the Blue Man Group is something out of the ordinary.
But then this is the conversation that took place
Craigy: I hate that guy, he is clearly un-healthy yet continues to smoke non-stop and drink non-stop. I mean he has a blue face, thats not normal. When he holds his cig to his face his hand is a different colour, thats just plain wrong.
M: I call him Choker, just cause he is always coughing like a git, never pauses apart from to down his beer in three gulps. Thats what scares me, drinking that bloody quick.
Craigy: Thats what scares you? Not the blue face that he has?
M: Well that as well.
*chuckle from all around*
*Another member of staff walks around*
AMOS (AKA S): What are we laughing at?
Craigy: The guy with the blue face.
S: Oh alright, do these trays need doing still?
No thought, no worry, just accepted that there is a guy with a blue face and carried on with the job in hand.
One day I will catalouge all the weirdos that work and are customers in my place and have them all for display!
I don't care if you belive it, thats the shit hole I work in, and I hope to leave it.........very soon!
Monday, October 23, 2006
All Work And No Play......
I am still alive!
*Carefully listens for collective cheer*
World: Sorry did you say something?
Well, its now day 10. I am getting more tired as the days pass. You know when you wake up sometimes and you forget what day it is? Well thats happening all the bloody time now. Sometimes half way through a day I will still be wondering.
Scores on the doors:
10 days.
101 Hours worked.
13 Red Bulls
21 Teas. I am currently working on my 21st.
54 Coffees.
I have noticed now that no matter how much I drink its no longer working. I think I am actually building up an amunity to caffeine. Which is really not good.
When I am at work I'm ok, not that tired and just get on with everything. Its the trip to work and back home that I am most tired. I'm not finishing this week before 11:00pm, so that means I get a taxi home paid for. Which is nice. But past experience has taught me that if you fall asleep in a taxi they can get a "bit irrate" to say the least.
But oh well.
I have made a few purchases from iTunes as well to make the trips seem less tedious.
Yourcodenameis:milo, I got both their albums. Click here for the song that made me go "My golly, they are a bit good, I'll get their album"
And also got,
A Piano Tribute to Pearl Jam. No lyrics just pianos playing Pearl Jam songs. Its good on the "Thats something a bit different" scale. This morning I played What peral Jam Song Is This Meant To Be? game.
but thats enough from me, I am going to fall in to a coma for about 6 hours before I have to do another 11 hours at work.
Just in case anyone is wondering how haggered I look I took a picture, its modelled on our friend Eryn.
Have fun folks!
*Carefully listens for collective cheer*
World: Sorry did you say something?
Well, its now day 10. I am getting more tired as the days pass. You know when you wake up sometimes and you forget what day it is? Well thats happening all the bloody time now. Sometimes half way through a day I will still be wondering.
Scores on the doors:
10 days.
101 Hours worked.
13 Red Bulls
21 Teas. I am currently working on my 21st.
54 Coffees.
I have noticed now that no matter how much I drink its no longer working. I think I am actually building up an amunity to caffeine. Which is really not good.
When I am at work I'm ok, not that tired and just get on with everything. Its the trip to work and back home that I am most tired. I'm not finishing this week before 11:00pm, so that means I get a taxi home paid for. Which is nice. But past experience has taught me that if you fall asleep in a taxi they can get a "bit irrate" to say the least.
But oh well.
I have made a few purchases from iTunes as well to make the trips seem less tedious.
Yourcodenameis:milo, I got both their albums. Click here for the song that made me go "My golly, they are a bit good, I'll get their album"
And also got,
A Piano Tribute to Pearl Jam. No lyrics just pianos playing Pearl Jam songs. Its good on the "Thats something a bit different" scale. This morning I played What peral Jam Song Is This Meant To Be? game.
but thats enough from me, I am going to fall in to a coma for about 6 hours before I have to do another 11 hours at work.
Just in case anyone is wondering how haggered I look I took a picture, its modelled on our friend Eryn.
Have fun folks!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Day Six
Hello!
Just in case you all thought I had died I thought I had best post and give you all an update.
I must point out that I can't give you an amount of sleep that I have been getting as I have no idea when I fall asleep. That would require me to wake up and look at the clock, which would put it back some, then when drifting off again I would need to look at the clock and wake myself up again etc etc etc.
Plus I haven't been sleeping to well recently.
But I can tell you, that in six days
I have drank 13 Teas
26 Coffees
and 6 Redbulls.
not more than normal at present. Which is quite good. I expect my caffeine counter to rocket up over the next few days. I am really starting to feel tired beyond belief.
I have, after all, worked *drum roll* 61 hours over 6 days.
Thats 12 hours over the legal limit and I still have 2 days to go for the week.
12 consecutive shifts under my belt and only 15 to go!
I have spoken to Dave. He holds the most consecutive shifts worked record, and he has done 21. So I am out to beat the figure.
I am really tired and need to get to sleep.
So I will report back later when hopefully caffiene has kicked in and I am ready to take on the World, but not sleep, oh no never sleep.
Just in case you all thought I had died I thought I had best post and give you all an update.
I must point out that I can't give you an amount of sleep that I have been getting as I have no idea when I fall asleep. That would require me to wake up and look at the clock, which would put it back some, then when drifting off again I would need to look at the clock and wake myself up again etc etc etc.
Plus I haven't been sleeping to well recently.
But I can tell you, that in six days
I have drank 13 Teas
26 Coffees
and 6 Redbulls.
not more than normal at present. Which is quite good. I expect my caffeine counter to rocket up over the next few days. I am really starting to feel tired beyond belief.
I have, after all, worked *drum roll* 61 hours over 6 days.
Thats 12 hours over the legal limit and I still have 2 days to go for the week.
12 consecutive shifts under my belt and only 15 to go!
I have spoken to Dave. He holds the most consecutive shifts worked record, and he has done 21. So I am out to beat the figure.
I am really tired and need to get to sleep.
So I will report back later when hopefully caffiene has kicked in and I am ready to take on the World, but not sleep, oh no never sleep.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Project Masochism
The scene: A managers office. Pictures of a happy family around the place, awards and such like "manager of the Year" around the place. We have 2 managers sat at a desk.
Manager 1: So the week starting the 22nd of this month we have how many people on holiday?
Manager 2: We have 8 people off on holiday.
1: ok then, are they part time or full time workers?
2: Oh, they are all full time workers.
1: Bugger, are they at least on different departments?
2: Nope they are all from the same department.
1: Right, so who gave them all holiday?
2: Me.
1: Right, we need to cover our backs here, we need lots of people to do some over time and cover all of these shifts.
2: Or.......
1: I'm listening.
2: We just need to trick and guilt one person into doing loads of hours in one week!
1: Thats brilliant! Who is the only person we haven't given time off to?
2: That'd be Craigy.
1: Well send him in!
Yes folks I have to work an incredible amount of overtime over the next 16 days. I have been asked to work 15, but am going to do an extra day as part of a challenge I have set myself.
I have worked out that I will do about 160.25 hours over 16 days. All consecutive!!!!!
European working directive states that no-one should work over 49 hours in one week. I am going to piss all over that and near enough double it each week.
This all starts on Saturday at 11:00. After that I am working 16 days straight without one day off.
I will be keeping tracks of how many hours sleep I get, how much time I am working for and how many caffeine drinks I will have (Tea, coffee and red bull) for the whole duration.
If I don't post or keep in contact with anyone one of a few things has happened:
1, I'm dead
2, I am asleep and the counter is running.
3, I'm dead
4, I have given up on sleep and am polishing the carpet.........at work.
In any event I will be posting updates and let you all know how much caffeine is on me and how many hours I have worked.
Wish me luck!
Manager 1: So the week starting the 22nd of this month we have how many people on holiday?
Manager 2: We have 8 people off on holiday.
1: ok then, are they part time or full time workers?
2: Oh, they are all full time workers.
1: Bugger, are they at least on different departments?
2: Nope they are all from the same department.
1: Right, so who gave them all holiday?
2: Me.
1: Right, we need to cover our backs here, we need lots of people to do some over time and cover all of these shifts.
2: Or.......
1: I'm listening.
2: We just need to trick and guilt one person into doing loads of hours in one week!
1: Thats brilliant! Who is the only person we haven't given time off to?
2: That'd be Craigy.
1: Well send him in!
Yes folks I have to work an incredible amount of overtime over the next 16 days. I have been asked to work 15, but am going to do an extra day as part of a challenge I have set myself.
I have worked out that I will do about 160.25 hours over 16 days. All consecutive!!!!!
European working directive states that no-one should work over 49 hours in one week. I am going to piss all over that and near enough double it each week.
This all starts on Saturday at 11:00. After that I am working 16 days straight without one day off.
I will be keeping tracks of how many hours sleep I get, how much time I am working for and how many caffeine drinks I will have (Tea, coffee and red bull) for the whole duration.
If I don't post or keep in contact with anyone one of a few things has happened:
1, I'm dead
2, I am asleep and the counter is running.
3, I'm dead
4, I have given up on sleep and am polishing the carpet.........at work.
In any event I will be posting updates and let you all know how much caffeine is on me and how many hours I have worked.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Yet another youtube thingy!
I love the original Star Wars. No special edition nonsense, I mean the original ORIGINAL versions.
I grew up watching them and love them completely.
When Episode 1 came out I was very excited and couldn't wait to go and see it.
But then I went to see it and wasn't happy.
Then Episode 2 came out, I knew it wasn't going to be good, so it took me about 2 years to actually watch it. I wasn't surprised to find it crappy.
And well, don't even get me started on Episode 3.
I love this Youtube animation.
I hate George Lucas, but then again, if I had the amount of money he does..........I'd most likely go mad as well!
I grew up watching them and love them completely.
When Episode 1 came out I was very excited and couldn't wait to go and see it.
But then I went to see it and wasn't happy.
Then Episode 2 came out, I knew it wasn't going to be good, so it took me about 2 years to actually watch it. I wasn't surprised to find it crappy.
And well, don't even get me started on Episode 3.
I love this Youtube animation.
I hate George Lucas, but then again, if I had the amount of money he does..........I'd most likely go mad as well!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Dont Drink With This Man
Ok, Craig might have mentioned me to you: I’m that Kelly-chick from the States (
But word of warning, 90% of my blogs are written while I’m under the influence...
(See “Harry Potter and President Bush”)
So here it is: *clears throat* Hello people of the internet!
(Cheers)
Now, It comes as a surprise to me each time, because he seems like a strong drinker, (Mind you he’s like 167 pounds, and about 5'6.) He seems fine, putting away beers all night, but around one in the morning, he’ll trudge out to the street, crouch down, and a few minutes later he’s in the fetal position... puking.
The first time it happened, I was extremely intoxicated, so I stood over him yelling: "Learn to hold your alcohol!”
I mean, even thinking about it sober....
Who lays down to throw up?
Seriously?
Fetal Position...
With his hand on his stomach
It’s rather sad to watch....
“Kelly” (
"Eryn" (
“Kelly” (
"Eryn" (
"Eryn" (
The Best Picture of Eryn I could find...
(Picture edited by Craig)
Now picture him laying down
And puking up
While giving the thumbs up
"Hey look Eryn is in the fetal position again, hey dude you ok?"
Eryn *does thumbs up*
Then vomits...
“Eryn” for Puke
- “Hey, I think I’m done for the night... I just pulled an Eryn..”
- “You have to see this! Amy is about to do a Holy Eryn!”
And, if you ever have the chance to be graced by his presence:
- “I never thought I’d see it, but I witnessed an Original Holy Eryn, and I have the stains on my shoes to prove it!”
Alright, that’s all I have for tonight... until next time!
Friday, October 06, 2006
I have complained a hell of a lot about the people that I work with, and how they are all dumb.
Well I was right then and I'm right now.
I was sat in the staff room watching the news ( I didn't have a chance to read a paper that morning so was trying to catch up on the current events of the world).
Anyway, I was watching Channel 5 news (sounds foreign don't it!) and there was a piece about the Amish funeral that was about to take place.
I am sat there watching and another person walks in we will call her S........
S "Whats all this about then?"
C "Huh?"
S "Whats this on the news?"
C "The Amish funeral is today for those little girls"
S "What little girls?"
C "The ones that were shot"
S "What happened? Someone shot Amish people?"
C "No, someone shot Amish school girls, it's been on the news all week. Its been in the papers and everything"
S "No, I've not heard anything about this"
At this point there is a long silence where I have tired of her idiocy while SHE is trying to think of something else to say................
So after this pause and the conversation where she has shown no idea of whats happening in the world around her she comes out with
S "Did you see George Michael in the paper the other day.............back on the drugs!"
I was so annoyed that I just walked out of the room.
Well I was right then and I'm right now.
I was sat in the staff room watching the news ( I didn't have a chance to read a paper that morning so was trying to catch up on the current events of the world).
Anyway, I was watching Channel 5 news (sounds foreign don't it!) and there was a piece about the Amish funeral that was about to take place.
I am sat there watching and another person walks in we will call her S........
S "Whats all this about then?"
C "Huh?"
S "Whats this on the news?"
C "The Amish funeral is today for those little girls"
S "What little girls?"
C "The ones that were shot"
S "What happened? Someone shot Amish people?"
C "No, someone shot Amish school girls, it's been on the news all week. Its been in the papers and everything"
S "No, I've not heard anything about this"
At this point there is a long silence where I have tired of her idiocy while SHE is trying to think of something else to say................
So after this pause and the conversation where she has shown no idea of whats happening in the world around her she comes out with
S "Did you see George Michael in the paper the other day.............back on the drugs!"
I was so annoyed that I just walked out of the room.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Way To Lazy
Yes I am way to lazy to actually put anything on here at the min, so I will give you some youtube links.
I have subscribed to baratsandbereta.
they are very funny, so funny infact that you may wet yourself while watching.
You have been warned!
White Rap
Ninja Rap
Bible Bashing
Insurance Quote
Really they are very funny.
Watch all of their stuff. But, if you question whats going on with these two, then watch this.
Bugger forgot the best, the office war!
I have subscribed to baratsandbereta.
they are very funny, so funny infact that you may wet yourself while watching.
You have been warned!
White Rap
Ninja Rap
Bible Bashing
Insurance Quote
Really they are very funny.
Watch all of their stuff. But, if you question whats going on with these two, then watch this.
Bugger forgot the best, the office war!
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