Hey Everybody! Come And See How Great I Am

The last work party was aces. Had a really good time, got very drunk and did Kareoke, mainly David Bowie tracks and Starship.

The party entertainment was provided by a work person who does that sort of D J-ing. He was paid and did a set.

He got a bit drunk.


Then he got wasted.


Then he passed out.

I waited with baited breath for any version on an Eryn that I could get, but alas no luck.

So we took over and we played what the hell we wanted.


Now this aside for one second, the perfect night out, consists of the right people and the right amount of drink. To much drink means something stupid will happen, sometimes good sometimes not.

The wrong people and you will not have fun.

The place, the music, the cost are not really issues. These are things that will not affect how much fun you will have.


There is another staff party coming up, and the votes are in, looks like we are gonna be having it at work again.

We were talking about it and the guy that did the DJ-ing/passing out/letting us run amok with his gear turned around and said

"Well, its my fault that everyone wants the party here. I did such a good job last time. I'll have to do a bad job this time so that everyone wants to go else where"



Oooooooooohhhhhh, check you out. You're just so good at passing out and getting other people to do what you have been paid for. If every DJ did that then every club would be cool.


He played shit music, and in proper Kareoke style kept talking over all the music so you couldn't work out what the crap he was playing, and talking with the mic some where near the back of his throat so you couldn't work out what he was saying.

Seriously the only good thing he did was passing out and letting us go crazy on his expensive equipment whilst drunk! Hence loads of David Bowie.


So here's to another great party, plenty of drink and some good friends.



Shit music and an unconcious DJ, but its not like that matters to anyone really.

Before You Die

I need to pass on some knowledge to you good people. Things you need to know about and to have experienced before you die.

Yes, its time for Craigy's Top Ten Albums you need to hear before you die.


I'm not really one for top tens and the like, but I have noticed that some people don't know some really good bands. On this note everyone should go to Pandora and make your own channel, see what you get. You may be pleased with what you get, I always am.

Anyway, top tens are always bad news. How do you look at it? Is it going to be desert island top ten, the only ten albums you can listen to for the rest of your life? Perhaps your favourite albums? Or the completly different best albums? Or maybe you go with the best albums that you own that you actually think other people will like?


I have no idea where my top ten falls into. Really can't decide. These are brilliant, brilliant albums. I think I am leaning more to the "I own these albums and everyone should give them a go, cause they are golden."


In no particular order:-


Pearl Jam, Ten.

C'mon you knew that there was gonna be a Pearl Jam album here. Couldn't decide on which to go for so you may as well start at the beginning. Its great from the word go. I remember a long time ago the Col. turning to me and saying that his CD player was broken and the only CD it played was Ten, I think my responce was along the line of "Sorry, I'm not seeing the problem here", and we laughed the merry kind of laugh that friends do in jovial times. This before he consumed an entire bar and threw the player at me cause it wouldn't play the track he wanted to hear............ah good times Johnny good times......


Nirvana, Unplugged In New York.

Yeah this one wasn't easy. If I was gonna say best I would say Inutero. If I was gonna say fav then I would say Unplugged or Inutero. Its hard to call, but if you are a Nirvana virgin then its best to start with Unplugged as they can be a bit destructive, but in a good way. I'm reckoning if you don't know who Nirvana are then you are either dead or have been living on Pluto for the past 20 years. Seriously, one of the most important bands in music ever. Thats a scientific fact.

Fact I tells ya!


Tracy Bonham, The Burdens Of Being Upright

*lights pipe* Gather round and let me tell you a story. Back in the day, which by the way was a Thursday, we didn't have the internet. The only way you found out about new things coming out was by constantly watching TV, or having a cousin in America that told you everything. I constantly watchd MTV. They had mad little show on very late at night that played very odd and independant music. I remember a song about Fish heads. I shit you not. Anyway, with the help of this show I found out about Tracy Bonham, she is a very tasty lady that can sing, play the violin and also play the guitar. She has been described as the female Maynard James Keenan (by some geezer on youtube) I descrbe her as "Kinda like Alanis Morrisette, if Alanis wasn't whiny.........and was actually any good."


Tool, Aenima


Who the hell says that metal music can't be musical? Well who ever you are, listen to this album and you will see that you are wrong. I think Tool are a fantastic band, no-one ever tries to copy them cause it would be to obvious. They have such a unique sound. Maynard James Keenan has an amazing voice which would blow you right out of your pants. The thing that may put people off is the fact that most songs on this album are about 6 mins long. But trust me each song is brilliant in its own right. Eulogy alone makes this album an absolute must for anyone even thinking about getting into metal music.


Jack Johnson, In Between Dreams

Genuine feel good music. I like chilling out music as much as the next person (Portishead are amongst my fav albums) but this has an extra quality to it. Where as some people/bands will sit down and methodically work out the best way to exucute a song (and there's nothing wrong with that) it seems as if thats impossible for Jack Johnson. All of his music seems so natural, that to picture him taking time out to actually write songs seems absurd. I swear he just turned up and started playing, and the band started playing along with him and "hey presto" a magic album was born. So good is this album that even the mighty Jecka likes it and sings along.



I'm gonna leave it t these 5 for now, while I have a good long hard think about the next 5.


I just know I am gonna have issues.



I'm doing all of this for you, the good people.

Shhhhhhhh, I'm Hunting Wabbits

Jecka is over this weekend, so this of course means an obligatory trip to the cinema.

We went to see Open Season.


Its pretty weak to be honest. But I am always determined to find something out of every film I see that is good.

Well I didn't have to look hard in this. You see, the "main actors" in this CG film are Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher. Now they are both blander than bland in this.

If you are in an animated film then you have to work harder, cause you can only act with your voice, as anyone that listened to the Futurama commantaries will tell you, Al Gore really went for it when recording for episodes.

I was surprised to hear my favourite voice actor in this film, so its not surprising that he was the best thing in the whole damned film.

I am talking of course about Patrick "THEY HIT ME WITH A TRUCK" Warburton.


He is used in just about every other animated film. Why? Cause he has a great voice and can really go crazy and mental.........and well maybe he gets carried away with it but thats what makes him stand out. When everyone else in the film is just reading the words on the page and one person is actually acting it makes them great.


So I did my usual and went to imdb to have a look at his profile. Then I thought why the hell not, I'll have a look at his "official website". Which is a myspace website.

Now is it just me or does that music thats playing not make this guy even better?


Yes it does. And look at all the stuff that he likes as well. The man is a legend.



Also Jecka lost two teeth this week and has another loose, at 6 this is pretty good going. Her teeth are only coming out cause others are growing through.


As always she comes out with some cracking lines.

We were watching Children In Need and she was clapping, she turned to my brother and told him to clap. He said no.

"Clap, *leaning in and pointing a finger right in his face* Come on, you're sad enough...........and you'll die enough."

I am an important person!

Today was the normal crappyish day. Lots of work, with extras dropping in left right and centre.

But, there was an evil presence, something looming over head that made me feel ill and a chill.

At 16:00 today I had an interview to become an NGS. Now that sounds (hopefully) better than it actually is.

I mean loads of people have all these letters that mean job titles just to make them sound better. But I am betting that their job is just as crap and un-fulfilling as the rest, for example I'm sure M.D (what ever that means) is a pretty crappy job.

NGS means Non Gaming Supervisor. Which means I can lock up and open up my work without a manager there.

I was 100% confident going into this that I knew all of the answars. Ready to go, bring it on!!!!!


Got to the interview and made an arse out of myself. Forgot everything and struggled my way through.

Kinda like every exam I have ever taken in my life. Thats where I got my lovely grey patch from, gotta love the pressure from teachers and the good ol' G.C.S.E'S

Manager: So what information is displayed on such and such

Craig: Err........*looking up* This this.........this and this?

Manager: You're making this up aren't you.

Craig: 100%.


Yes that conversation actually happened.



But low and behold, I actually passed.


So now I am Craigy_Boy TL NGS


Slowly and surely getting somewhere. Only problem really is the fact that all of the stuff I have mean NOTHING outside of my company.


Mind you, guess the same goes for all those M.D's.

Banzai!!!!!

Hello folks,

I am currently on holiday from work, yet went in today.

Why? Well this is our charity week and tonight was my attempt at raising money.

It was a simple idea. Basically myself and Dave (Bighead) were to dress up in inflatable Sumo suits and wrestle on the full houses of the main session book.

Sounds like a barrel of laughs. Plus Dave and I are good friends so it would be fun and not that competitive really. Plus I mean they are inflatable suits so we can't really get hurt or anything.


Well that was the plan........*toilet flushes* Oh dear that idea seems to have gone down the toilet.

Well here are some pictures to get you all going.











Now you look at that first picture and think "My looks like they are going to have good family fun"


But you would be wrong.



It was a best of 5 fights.


Fight one.

The plan was.............well there was no ruddy plan. We decided that we would just go for it and see what happened.

Well, the countdown came and went the next thing I know Dave is running at me like a mad man, really he was drooling and kinda wonky-eyed. I didn't know what the hell to do but thought "I am wearing inflatable armour that'll save me" BIG MISTAKE. He crashed into me and my suit deflated instantly. I tried to fight back, but learned a quick lesson.

You can't fight back much when someone running at you hits you in the neck with their shoulder and sends you crashing to the floor.

Its not a lesson I thought I was going to learn today, but I learned it, and learned it quickly and with difficult breathing.

Round one to Dave.

Fight 2

We were on the stage, now the manager had decided that we had best take down all the railings so that people could see what was happening. I said this was a bad idea as we could fall off and hurt ourselves or maybe even catch a case of death. All in all not a good idea. This wasn't heard and down the railings came.

The second fight was over almost as quickly as the first. Dave once again came flying at me, I thought "he is running fast I will move to the side and he will fall out of the ring declaring me the victor" Sadly Dave isn't blind. He saw this and got me, I was fighting back pretty well. He was trying to push me out of the ring, nothing out of the normal really, we both realised how close I was to where the railing should be and we both kinda stopped. I say kinda cause Dave stopped pushing me across and started pushing me down. I wasn't ready for this.

Round two Dave.

Fight 3

Right I was ready for him now. Git. I was gonna take him down. He beat me by flooring me the first time and pushing me down the second, not this time.

The countdown came and I gave as good as I got. I got pushed ALMOST to the floor but was able to fight my way back up. Only problem was that as soon as I was about to stand up and get my balance back, Dave was there slamming me back down. I think I got ALMOST up about twice before I just plain couldn't stand anymore and Dave shoved me to the floor again.

Round Three Dave

Fight 4

Right this is for pride. I have to win one of these God damn fights, this is just pathetic. I mean what kind of idiot can't even beat someone his own weight and height in an inflatable suit what was that noise? Oh crap we're back at it.

Yeah he came out of now where and was grabbing at me, I actually got a hold of him this time and could hear cheering as I tried my damndest to throw him out of the ring. I got a grip of him and went to chuck him.....................but he just pushed me to the floor. Me still holding his suit. Which ripped.

Round four Dave.


I gave up after that. There is no point flogging a dead horse. And I was knackered.

So Dave won fair and square. But it was fun. In a way.

Well in the only way getting your ass kicked in an inflatable sumo suit can be fun.........yep with alcholic, gambling addicted scumbags cheering you on cause they want to win a hoover AND a chocolate fountain.


We raised over £200 for Breast Cancer.



Quote of the night.


Dave: "Craig, we are doing this for Breasts"


Yes we are,

*Long pause*


Yes we are.

UPDATE

This is the first fight.