I have to take the bus everywhere I go. Mainly cause I am to poor and lazy to take my drving tests but there you go. Now the only redeeming feature of bus travel is that you get to look out of the window and snigger at the pedestrians and look at the shops, with out the fear of losing control of your car and crashing into a camel. Their around, and their sneaky.
With my keen eye on the lookout I have noticed some odd shop names crop up.
Also noticed a really good one.
Aesthetics.
Its a beauty salon with the right name. I like that.
Anyway bad shop names.
Dr Of China.
Sells Chinese herbal medicines and potions.
But the name suggests that 1,306,313,812 Chinese people go to him for medical advice. And he puts his shop on Melton Rd. Nonsense. Sort it out you idiot. I would allow "Dr From China" or possibly "Dr From China That Sells Herbal Stuff But Not You Know Anything Illegal".
Another idiot that I saw.
USA Hand Car Wash
So only Americans know how to hand wash cars? Or perhaps only they know how to do it properly? Either way unless the car wash is owned by Americans or on American Embassy soil they should change their name.
Last but by no means least.
Inspecto "R" Gadgets.
It even has a picture of Inspector Gadget. The real cartoon one not the fake film one......which didn't happen.....either times.
But back to the name, with the quote marks around the R it reads
Inspecto
R
Gadgets.
Which makes no sense at all. Come on lads just drop the bloody O and its all good. I get it, you want to make a connection to your favourite programme but it just doesn't work. So leave it out. Also......if your shop has a name like that then you should sell, oh I don't know some gadgets and not alloy wheels. Which is what you do sell, and now you look silly.
Now these crackers appear on 2 of my 3 bus routes, but i am hoping that there is more out there, so please post any stupid shop names you happen across on your daily comutes. Saves me time and money.
Cheers
Friday, March 24, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Public Transport AKA Hells A**hole
I hate buses. I mean I can't stand the damn things.
From the woman that takes, what feels like 3 hours to eat a bag of crisps as loudly as she can and then spends the same amount of time to lick her hand clean to the guy that feels he has to shout, swear and yell either on his phone or to his friends its a constant struggle to stop myself from screaming out loud.
The other day I had to get a bus. It was a single deck bus. It was packed. I had to stand, which didn't bother me because I was only going a short distance.
Sat behind me was an elderly woman chatting to her elderly friend. It didn't take long for the two of them to start openly ripping the people standing up.
"Why is everyone standing at the front of the bus?"
"Don't have the common sense to stand at the back"
"Yeah it wouldn't take much for them to move to the back and get out of the way"
I was just about to swing round and shout at them about how you're not allowed to stand that far back on a bus, thats why they have signs that say "No standing beyond this sign" when....
"But you can't say anything, all you get back is abuse"
Damn straight.
From here the conversation went crazy. They started talking about an incident where a "youth" had spat infront of one of them and she had callled him "a dirty sod" so he told her to "fuck off". And she seemed surprised by his reaction. They went on to say how that was spreading germs and wasn't nice. I agreed. But then........
"But you know how all germs got into this country........."
*Craigs ears pick up*
".......Indians. Thats how TB got into this country, the indians brought it in."
Ok then, so me standing up toward the front of the bus is stupid. And I'll accept that. But you, you old hag are insane if you think that the only way germs and infections are about in this counrty is because forigners are bringing them in.
The Chinese don't allow talking on public transport and the police are crazy and kill people for breaking the slightest law.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
From the woman that takes, what feels like 3 hours to eat a bag of crisps as loudly as she can and then spends the same amount of time to lick her hand clean to the guy that feels he has to shout, swear and yell either on his phone or to his friends its a constant struggle to stop myself from screaming out loud.
The other day I had to get a bus. It was a single deck bus. It was packed. I had to stand, which didn't bother me because I was only going a short distance.
Sat behind me was an elderly woman chatting to her elderly friend. It didn't take long for the two of them to start openly ripping the people standing up.
"Why is everyone standing at the front of the bus?"
"Don't have the common sense to stand at the back"
"Yeah it wouldn't take much for them to move to the back and get out of the way"
I was just about to swing round and shout at them about how you're not allowed to stand that far back on a bus, thats why they have signs that say "No standing beyond this sign" when....
"But you can't say anything, all you get back is abuse"
Damn straight.
From here the conversation went crazy. They started talking about an incident where a "youth" had spat infront of one of them and she had callled him "a dirty sod" so he told her to "fuck off". And she seemed surprised by his reaction. They went on to say how that was spreading germs and wasn't nice. I agreed. But then........
"But you know how all germs got into this country........."
*Craigs ears pick up*
".......Indians. Thats how TB got into this country, the indians brought it in."
Ok then, so me standing up toward the front of the bus is stupid. And I'll accept that. But you, you old hag are insane if you think that the only way germs and infections are about in this counrty is because forigners are bringing them in.
The Chinese don't allow talking on public transport and the police are crazy and kill people for breaking the slightest law.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
To Nottingham and beyond
Well actually I only went to Nottingham and then came running back.
Took the Missus to see James Blunt. And I'll admit now that I actually like the album as well. There are a couple of songs that I don't like but on the whole its a good album.
We get to the venue and there are a lot of people in front of us.
Missus: I want to be closer than this.
Craigy: No worries, this is England and no-one ever complains.
I grab her hand and start walking through the crowd with the occasional "excuse me" and the crowd parted like the Red Sea, and we got right to the front completing the "I need to be close enough to touch him" request I had been given.
Only problem, we were surrounded by toffs.
The support came on, to start he wasn't that bad. Had sort of a Jack Johnson thing going on, but then it all went horribly wrong as he started being "funny", which he failed miserably at. Really started to piss me off.
After standing around for 3 hours Blunt came on.
Now you would think that after paying to see a concert that people would just enjoy the show and chill out. Then you underestimate the idiocy of the toffs.
Go here and look at the 2nd picture down.
Now this was on James' backdrop.
Toff 1: What do you suppose that is?
Toff 2: I think its a monkey.
Toff1: Really? I always thought it was a Griffon.
I mean really. A griffon is half a Lion and half an Eagle. WHERE ARE THE WINGS ON THAT BLUNT BACKDROP? WHERE?
All night I had to put up with crap like that.
Toff 3: I do find this song quite depressing?
Toff 4: Oh its not the basis to this song is quite interesting you see blah blah blah.
SHUT UP YOU IRRITATING FOOL. If I wanted to know about that I'd go to the website. Or track James down and ask him myself.
The show was quite good apart from the morons that we were near.
I'd give the show 8/10
The people around us. 1/10
The only good person that was near us was some 40ish woman that was dancing like an epileptic chicken. And when Blunt walked near her I think she did actually have a fit of some kind. Made me laugh.
But then I'm evil like that.
*grin*
Took the Missus to see James Blunt. And I'll admit now that I actually like the album as well. There are a couple of songs that I don't like but on the whole its a good album.
We get to the venue and there are a lot of people in front of us.
Missus: I want to be closer than this.
Craigy: No worries, this is England and no-one ever complains.
I grab her hand and start walking through the crowd with the occasional "excuse me" and the crowd parted like the Red Sea, and we got right to the front completing the "I need to be close enough to touch him" request I had been given.
Only problem, we were surrounded by toffs.
The support came on, to start he wasn't that bad. Had sort of a Jack Johnson thing going on, but then it all went horribly wrong as he started being "funny", which he failed miserably at. Really started to piss me off.
After standing around for 3 hours Blunt came on.
Now you would think that after paying to see a concert that people would just enjoy the show and chill out. Then you underestimate the idiocy of the toffs.
Go here and look at the 2nd picture down.
Now this was on James' backdrop.
Toff 1: What do you suppose that is?
Toff 2: I think its a monkey.
Toff1: Really? I always thought it was a Griffon.
I mean really. A griffon is half a Lion and half an Eagle. WHERE ARE THE WINGS ON THAT BLUNT BACKDROP? WHERE?
All night I had to put up with crap like that.
Toff 3: I do find this song quite depressing?
Toff 4: Oh its not the basis to this song is quite interesting you see blah blah blah.
SHUT UP YOU IRRITATING FOOL. If I wanted to know about that I'd go to the website. Or track James down and ask him myself.
The show was quite good apart from the morons that we were near.
I'd give the show 8/10
The people around us. 1/10
The only good person that was near us was some 40ish woman that was dancing like an epileptic chicken. And when Blunt walked near her I think she did actually have a fit of some kind. Made me laugh.
But then I'm evil like that.
*grin*
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