Went to see Pirates of The Caribean at the weekend.
What can I say about it.........well not much really, apart from its crap.
Sorry if I have ruined this for anyone, but if you hadn't heard its cra by now then I am guessing you have your head buried in the sand, with your eyes closed your fingers in your ears humming Cars by Gary Numan.
It is the exact same film as the other two. Now I loved the first film. I mean I loved it. I think that it was because you had no idea what to expect from it. But after two films now you are expecting the magic from the first film back, and sadly you do not get that at all.
I will no list all things wrong with the film,
1, To many stories. Everyone in this film has a story and a plot line and also a hidden agenda. Its relentless. Everyone is double crossing everyone to the point where you no longer care.
2, Orlando Bloom is blander than a bowl of boiled rice and boiled chicken. Now thats bland eating, but he beats it in the bland battle. He can't act and is basically just there for the ladies, which is kinda pointle when you also have Johnny Depp in the film.
3, Too long. Too many stories for too many characters makes the film 5 times longer than it has to be.
4, The budget. Now this was an expensive film to make ($200,000,000 trivia fans) and you have to ask wher the buggery they spent it. Unlike the first two there ar no massive set pieces. There are boats and CG a'hoy but still where did the money go?
5, No fun. The first one was great because it was fnny and fun and everything you would want from a film. After seeing Curse of the Black Pearl the Thursday Night Film Crew were more than happy and cheery. This was not the case for two of us walking out of the third.
On the upside Geoffrey Rush is brilliant and the last 30 mins are aces.
Thats it mind.
Don't believe me?
The Amazing Sarah's little brother walked out off the film half way through.
What you want more proof. If you don't listen to me then listen to........
The Ninja!
ALSO WHAT EVER YOU DO DON'T STAY To WATCH THE CRAP AT THE END OF THE CREDITS.
ITS NOT WORTH IT.
Actually "Its not worth it" should be the tagline for the film.......and Orlando Bloom's acting career
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Don't Do That
Things I have learnt recently that I maybe shouldn't have done.
1, When cooking a stir fry with your other half at no point should you pick up the ready to cook noodles and ask them
"Are you weady to wok?"
2, There is an advert in America about some Gillette product. There is a guy on this advert that looks way to amazed when he spots a bluetooth headset. You should never look completely amazed at people wearing bluetooth headsets.
3, This rule especially applies when you are on the motorway and you pull this overly amazed face at the people in passing cars. It puts them off.
4, When your other half has a bad dream and then becomes restless you should try and limit how much you comfort them. They might elbow you in the head for your efforts!
You live you learn.
1, When cooking a stir fry with your other half at no point should you pick up the ready to cook noodles and ask them
"Are you weady to wok?"
2, There is an advert in America about some Gillette product. There is a guy on this advert that looks way to amazed when he spots a bluetooth headset. You should never look completely amazed at people wearing bluetooth headsets.
3, This rule especially applies when you are on the motorway and you pull this overly amazed face at the people in passing cars. It puts them off.
4, When your other half has a bad dream and then becomes restless you should try and limit how much you comfort them. They might elbow you in the head for your efforts!
You live you learn.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Who Let You Out?
Last night was the works outting.
We went to a little Hell hole called Zanzibar. It really is one of the worst places on the face of the planet.
So anyway off we go. its me, The Amazing Sarah, Cobbers, bazz and C. we had already met up, played some pool and had a few drinks. We were in a fine mood to have a fine time.
We had all got tickets that would let us que jump once we got to the club. These tickets ran out at 11:30 and we got there at about 11:20. So we walk up to the front, and are told to join a que.
"No, we have que jumping tickets"
"There are two ques, one for everyone, and one for que jumpers."
Now surely the very notion of a que for que jumpers should make the Universe implode in a state of confusion, but luckily it didn't as it seems there are more dumb people in the world and it doesn't bother them.
So we get in eventually after listening to the guy infront tell his friends how "last week I had 18 pints before I even left house". I'm not going to pass comment on that statement but we are all thinking the same damn thing.
We get in and fun is had by all.
Almost, one person turned up that shouldn't have. J*cough*twat*cough*, threatened me and M and was then kicked out. Not going into great detail about it, cause he's not worth it. One thing that was funny was his threat about me to Cobbers, "Tell him if I don't see him outside, then I know where he lives."
Brill, I know where you live as well matey.
But apart from that it was a good night.
Took Jecka to the cinema today as well. We went to see Spider-man 3.
It's very average.
But thats aside from the point.
Its the noisy gits that were sat near us that annoyed the crap out of me.
The noisy gits that bullied a couple into moving so that they could all sit together and presumably hold hands in a long chain.
I shhushed them twice and they didn't get the hint, so I loudly told them to "Shut up" and they did. I hate noisy people in the cinema, it really bugs me.
So for everyone's benefit here is a list of do's and don'ts for the cinema trip.
Feel free to print this off and pin them to the fore head of the next person that goes against them.
1, Shut the fuck up
2, You are told to switch your phone on to silent. Please do this, or switch it off.
3, When picking your seat you walk up the stairs find a seat and sit down. Once you have gone up the steps you can't go back as it annoys people. Pick a seat and seat down. No changing your mind.
4, Shut the fuck up.
5, Yes you are a popular bunny, but if you're phone goes off (when on silent) you can check it, but unless its important or an emergancy, put it back in your damn pocket right away.
6, Open your crisps, sweets and the like early on. I mean during the adverts, not the trailers because some people like them. Your noise is ruining it for everyone else.
7, If you paid to have the premiuum seats then go straight to the back. If you didn't pay for them, then don't even think about going toward them.
8, If you are likely to need the toilet, then sit near the damn aisle so that you again don't piss off everyone you pass.
9, Shut the fuck up.
10, It doesn't matter if YOU think the emotional scene is funny. Keep to the mood of whats on screen. You laughing when you shouldn't can and will ruin the mood for someone.
Now I have been guilty of a few of these. But I always try and keep my voice down.
Unless its a good comedy, then I laugh my ass off.
Because I have an annoying laugh and I know it. But I don't care.
*thumbs up*
We went to a little Hell hole called Zanzibar. It really is one of the worst places on the face of the planet.
So anyway off we go. its me, The Amazing Sarah, Cobbers, bazz and C. we had already met up, played some pool and had a few drinks. We were in a fine mood to have a fine time.
We had all got tickets that would let us que jump once we got to the club. These tickets ran out at 11:30 and we got there at about 11:20. So we walk up to the front, and are told to join a que.
"No, we have que jumping tickets"
"There are two ques, one for everyone, and one for que jumpers."
Now surely the very notion of a que for que jumpers should make the Universe implode in a state of confusion, but luckily it didn't as it seems there are more dumb people in the world and it doesn't bother them.
So we get in eventually after listening to the guy infront tell his friends how "last week I had 18 pints before I even left house". I'm not going to pass comment on that statement but we are all thinking the same damn thing.
We get in and fun is had by all.
Almost, one person turned up that shouldn't have. J*cough*twat*cough*, threatened me and M and was then kicked out. Not going into great detail about it, cause he's not worth it. One thing that was funny was his threat about me to Cobbers, "Tell him if I don't see him outside, then I know where he lives."
Brill, I know where you live as well matey.
But apart from that it was a good night.
Took Jecka to the cinema today as well. We went to see Spider-man 3.
It's very average.
But thats aside from the point.
Its the noisy gits that were sat near us that annoyed the crap out of me.
The noisy gits that bullied a couple into moving so that they could all sit together and presumably hold hands in a long chain.
I shhushed them twice and they didn't get the hint, so I loudly told them to "Shut up" and they did. I hate noisy people in the cinema, it really bugs me.
So for everyone's benefit here is a list of do's and don'ts for the cinema trip.
Feel free to print this off and pin them to the fore head of the next person that goes against them.
1, Shut the fuck up
2, You are told to switch your phone on to silent. Please do this, or switch it off.
3, When picking your seat you walk up the stairs find a seat and sit down. Once you have gone up the steps you can't go back as it annoys people. Pick a seat and seat down. No changing your mind.
4, Shut the fuck up.
5, Yes you are a popular bunny, but if you're phone goes off (when on silent) you can check it, but unless its important or an emergancy, put it back in your damn pocket right away.
6, Open your crisps, sweets and the like early on. I mean during the adverts, not the trailers because some people like them. Your noise is ruining it for everyone else.
7, If you paid to have the premiuum seats then go straight to the back. If you didn't pay for them, then don't even think about going toward them.
8, If you are likely to need the toilet, then sit near the damn aisle so that you again don't piss off everyone you pass.
9, Shut the fuck up.
10, It doesn't matter if YOU think the emotional scene is funny. Keep to the mood of whats on screen. You laughing when you shouldn't can and will ruin the mood for someone.
Now I have been guilty of a few of these. But I always try and keep my voice down.
Unless its a good comedy, then I laugh my ass off.
Because I have an annoying laugh and I know it. But I don't care.
*thumbs up*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
