Half Way Mark

I have managed to get 5 films for my top ten. As Trench said t'other night "the first five are easy, it's the rest that's difficult".

My little bearded friend is, of course, right.

I last did this in early 2006 and have been looking for the e-mail I sent to Col. Orange and Mr Trench about it, but can't find it.

So, in no order and with some brief explinations about them here are the first 5.

1, Fight Club (1999) Dir. David Fincher

BEST FILM EVER!

I first watched Fight Club because I wanted to see Brad Pitt get the crap knocked out off him. I was very pleasently surprised, it had meaning and depth. It was brilliantly directed/written/acted/portrayed. After I watched it I remember thinking smething along the lines of "Bloody hell, that was awesome". For the next few days I was constantly thinking about the film and trying to piece the whole thing together. I even rented it again a few days later just to see the whole thing again and really enjoy it. Now that's not a normal thing for me to do, especially when you consider the surprise ending, but even knowing what happens has never taken away from the enjoyment of the film.

I also think this was the first film I double-dipped on.

Best memory of Fight Club

Getting Trench and the Col. to watch it, them being as sceptical as I first was. Then them instantly loving it as much as I did.

2, Ringu (1998) Dir. Hideo Nakata

Ringu was hyped and hyped to me by my fellow Thursday night film junkies. I have never been one for horror films as they don't really scare me and I find the whole genre a bit laughable really. It seems Trench and the Col. had gone along to see the film on a whim and loved it. So when it next came up at the Phoenix I was there. It was a double feature Ringu and Ringu 2 (The Ringu-ening). I did feel like the whole thing had been over hyped to me and I was ready not to enjoy it too much if I am going to be honest.

It scared the living pap out of me.

I once tried watching this film alone. In the dark.

I got very scared and gave up, switched the lights on, then switched the film off.

Best memory?

Having returned home from the cinema watching Ringu, I turn on the TV only to left looking at a screen of static.

Clean pants on ailse three.

3, Leon (1994) Dir. Luc Besson

Who the hell doesn't like Leon (a.k.a. The Professional)? Morons that's who. I hate talking to people about this film and them start to tell me about the directors cut which they have seen where you kind of question the "love" between Matilda and Leon. Shut up, shut up SHUT UP! She loves him as she has never had anyone ever look after her in her whole life, let alone put on a puppet show. He loves her as he has never been able to look after anyone and all he does is kill people and talk to fat Italians. Leon could have been one of the most violent and over the top films ever made. I'm talking John Woo/Michael Bay over the top. But it isn't and shouldn't be. It's brilliantly written and masterfully directed. My personal favourite bit I can't talk about as it would be a spoiler. There isn't a bad performance in the whole thing. Jean Reno, Gary Oldman and Natalie Portman all shine like supa novas in this.

Favourite thing about Leon.

When ever you say "everyone" near a Thursday Nighter you are asked what you mean. You WILL reply "EVERYONE!!!!!!"

Pulp Fiction (1994) Dir Quentin Tarantino

What the hell can I say?

Err, I didn't like it when I first watched it. In fact I turned it off. I was watching it and not really paying much attention, then my dad walked in and looked horrified at the screen. I sort of wake up, and well....err it's that scene. You know where Bruce Willis is about to get all Samurai on their asses. My dad wasn't impressed so I kind of turned it off and walked away from it all. Years later I decide to give it another go and make sure that my dad will not interupt me this time. This time I love it. The way it is directed and the writing stand out more than anything.

I love films where the characters interact, and hold conversations. Not where they are reading lines to each other, but realistic conversations take place. Where people bounce off each other. You have this by the bucket load in Pulp Fiction.

Also there is the soundtrack which is awesome, and the way the story is told. The beginning being the end, the end actually carrying on from the beginning and the middle being the end and the credits being the trailers......or something.

Best memory of Pulp Fiction

Possibly my dads face when he saw the hot action on the screen.

5, Uncle Buck (1989) Dir. John Hughes

Everyone loves Uncle Buck. It's a solid film from the 80's that has John Candy in. Admittedly that description can mean it could be many other films (Planes, trains and atumobiles, Spaceballs, Little Shop Of Horrors.........The Great Out Doors........Whos Harry Crumb?). I could watch this film any day, at any time with any mood and I would laugh like a bastard.

We all have that family member (and it is most likely to be a sibling of some kind) in our families that is....well a little off. They mean well, but they just never seem to get things right, and everyone is a bit better off by not having them around. In my family it's me. *grin*

I have easily seen Uncle Buck 200 times. It makes me smile just to think about it.

Best memories due to Uncle Buck

Bank holiday at work, I walk into the staff room and start channel hopping trying to find something to watch. As I stop at one channel another two people walk into the room. All three of us "Awesome Uncle Buck!". No more words were needed.

Or Col. Orange is very hung over and on my sofa after throwing up. I make him some coffee. "You know what you need my friend? Uncle Buck." We watch it, and eat bacon sandwiches. By the time the credits come up, he feels much much better. The healing power of the Buck.



So there you have it, the first five. The next ones are going to be very hard. There will be some difficult and possibly heart breaking decisions made. But there will be no musicals, and no Michael Bay.


Till next time.

Look, it's a link!

I have just added my Google Reader to the side linkage bit.

It shows different stories that I have read and commented on.

Which I then share with you good people.

Cause I'm nice like that.

Which one? Pick one! This one? Classic

I bought Empire this month with the usual happiness. More perhaps seeing as Watchmen is on the cover.

So I spent the afternoon reading through it seeing whats what in the film world, and I enjoyed reading it. Little did I know the horror that was waiting......just......around the......page.

Well bugger me. Better get my knuckle dusters ready, as this is gonna cause riots.

My issue with this is......

What defines greatest? My favourite films are very different to the greatest films ever made.

I mean, Titanic is one of the greatest films ever made on a production scale. But it is a bad bad bad film. I mean directorally, screenplay wise, acting wise....but on a production scale it's incredible. THEY BUILT HALF A FUCKING BOAT!

But other than that it's a pile of dung.

Anchorman is one of my favourite films. Is it one of the greatest? It's one of the greatest comedies easily. Does that give it a place in the greatest films ever? Possibly....but where do you draw the line?

Films that will be in my list,

1, Fight Club
2, Leon
3, Pulp Fiction
4, Ringu

I would like to add Blade Runner but then you have to pick which version and it starts getting a bit silly really. Or is that a valid point? Could Aliens appear twice on the list once as the Theatrical version and another time as the Directors Cut. Well, no because the Directors cut is the only version worth watching but still. Is that allowed?

One thing is for sure that all of three of the Star Wars films will be in the top ten as will all three L.O.T.R. films. Which to be fair I don't agree with but there you go.

Mostly because only the first L.O.T.R. deserves to be in there as it is the only one that stuck with the story, they moved further away the further they went on. But on an epic scale yes it should be in there. As to get the backgrounds they started planting flowers and stuff 2 years in advance.

I am mostly interested in seeing where Dark Night appears. It's a top notch film and Heath Ledger is horse shit crazy in it. Is it the best/greatest film? Not really.

Does best mean greatest?

I hate doing these lists so am desperately asking for help folks. Do I do the list as my favourite films?

Or my greatest films (of which Titanic will NOT be one)?

Also feel free to post your top ten in the comments but don't forget to put your votes on the Empire site.

Pros and Cons

Pros and cons of doing a charity bike ride.

Pro:

Raising lots of money for a good cause.

Con:

Trapping nerves in both your arms. One of which has left your little finger numb for the best part of 20 days.

Pro:

The self satisfaction of completing a huge task.

Con:

Doing possibly lasting damage to your knee.

Pro:

Telling everyone your a big tough bastard cause you did the huge task.

Con:

Having approximately 20 old women ask you if your bum is better.


You make up your own minds folks.

BTW I'm now riding the bike again, and not in as much pain as you might think I should/deserve to be.

Let me file that under "Eeeewwwww!"

I was told the most horrid conversation ever today.

It was told to me by E who was having a conversation with a customer (Old Dear OD).

E, Did you hear that conversation I was having with that woman?

Craigy, Can't say I did.

E, She said fanny to me. Old women shouldn't say fanny.

Grossed out yet?

No? Then read on.

E, She was telling me that she has a collapsed womb.

Uncomfortable, but not completely horrid.

E, She explained that she didn't want to go the Doctor, as she had just bought a finger glove and was just pushing it back up when it popped down.

That's it, that's the line being crossed right there. I mean really? If my intestines were falling out every day and I had to put them in I would certainly go to the Doctor. Let alone if it was my man sack opening up and dropping my stones out.

Imagine that!

E, I told her that she should go to the Doctor about it as that's just not right and she said....

Brace yourself.

OD, There's no need to trouble the Doctor with it dear. I've been doing this for two years now.

That sound is people wrenching having just read this.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my biii-ike

I made it!

And here is my amazing story.....

Or skip to the bottom for a summary.

Last Tuesday I sorted the last of my things out and set off to Londonland. I booked my ticket in advance and had to book a place for my bike. It was a lovely train that I got and I was very relaxed on it.

However, when we got outside of Luton the train manager told us that there were some issues and we may have to wait a while. "No worries" I thought and carried on with my book and listening to some iPodage. about 20 mins passed and then the train pulled into Luton and stopped again with the train manager again explaining that we may have to wait a little while longer. 20 mins passed. The train manager now tells us that the train is going to terminate here as no train is going into London.

Bugger.

I get off and stand like a twonk with all my bags and my bike waiting for the next bit of information.

30mins pass.

I now meet a friendly guy from New Zealand called John. We get chatting about this and that.

Lots more people are thrown from their trains and the platforms are getting pretty rammed.

Then an announcement comes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, anyone wishing to travel to London will be pleased to know that ONE train will take them as far as *some London shite hole* and that train is going to be here in 2 seconds at...................platform..........1 RUN MORTALS TRY AND MAKE IT MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With the help of John I force myself onto the shed with wheels that turns up. I am not joking when I say that the train must have been at least three times passed capacity. I held my bike upright and had two other people holding the damned thing. We go two stops before......."ladies and gents we are going to stay here for a bit while we wait for more trains to clear the way"

20 mins pass.

"ladies and gents, we are going to terminate this train here"

Everyone piles off very annoyed.

15 mins pass in the baking sun.

Another train arrives and everyone piles on. I find it very hard to get on without John here to help me. I get on and we go two stops to our destination of "Random London hole" where we have been told a bus will take us the rest of the way.

I walk round to where the coach is meant to be and watch everyone get on. The driver then lets me know that "you can't get on here with a bike". So I am stranded 2 hours cycle from London.

I phone TAS and am just about t give up hope when.....

"Mate? there is a train coming in soon that can take you to West Hampstead"

I have no idea where that is but it sounds Londony.

I get on this train and go to this Hamstead place. I have a long conversation with some of the managers about how the hell I am going to get all the way to Croydon. They very helpfully tell me what to do. So....

I get the train to Some place.

get off and walk across London.

To London Bridge Train Station.

I get a ticket to Croydon.

I ask the lady at information where my train is meant to be as I am very confused by the hge station. She tried to communicate to me soley by pointing and grunting and seemed to be annoyed at me when I asked for some clarification.

I get to the train and as I am boarding it, some random business yuppie git is getting off and looks digusted at my bike and then me.

"Can I help you?" I say to him as I feel my last nerve bending.
"You what?" He snaps back at me.
*Snap* there goes my last nerve.
"F*CK OFF!" I shout back and then storm onto the train with all of the people getting out of my way.

Boarded first train at 13.00.

Expected arrival time 14.15.

Actual tim in the hotel.......20.30.

I was not happy.

Day 2

This was the first day of the cycle. We were late turning up as Google maps directions are a bi shit to be honest. But we got there.

And so began our journey on our bikes. About 30 mins in we hit a hill. In Croydon. That was equal to Everest. It was bloody huge and I was ignorant of my gears. Basically you have the three big discs next to your foot (gears 1 - 3) and then you have the ones attached to the back wheel (1 - 7). I would only use 2 - 7 or 3 -7. So I found this hill very bloody difficult and gave up very early and walked to damned thing. What a start.

The rest of the day was a collection of massive hills and upset for me. There was one hill, let me repeat this ONE HILL, that was 3 miles long. Always up. Never ending.

I did, however, meet Skye. She also hated hills, so we walked them together.

Here I am at the ferry station.

Croydon to New Haven. New Haven to Dieppe Hotel. 66 Miles.

Day 3.

This day was going to be the toughest. 93 miles. With lots of hills. So Skye and I set off, with a quick stop off at a French chemist to try and get a knee bandage.

We came across a big bridge.

It had a great view from the middle.

Imagine you were there as you look from left and the all the way to the right.

I did manage to work out my gears and thus managed to climb a massive hill all the way!

It was a horrible day that had everything. We got caught in a storm and I had no rain coat so got soaked. But we managed to get to the water stop where I was given a water proof. Here I am modelling it with Skye.

We made it through and we were very happy with ourselves. Skye and I made a good team, there were times when she was ahead of me and it gave me the determination to catch up, and like wise. It was good.

Everyone felt like they had managed something today.

Dieppe to Liseux (twinned with Taunton) 93 miles.

Day 4.

I was mentally ready for this day. 73 miles seemed like such an easy task after 93 miles.

I can't really remember much about this day, apart from the fact that my other knee went so I had to get another knee bandage with my crap French and rude chemists it took a while.

I did however find the town where every French person lives.

Maybe it was named because it's what the French say more than any other word, I don't know.....but I think it was.

It felt like we had been cycling for ever and a quick check on the map told us we were about 6 miles away.....only to go round the corner and we were there! Result.

Liseux to Vernon 73 miles.


Day 5

Last day! This was the hardest day of my life. I honestly felt like I couldn't physically do any more. But we made it.

Straight after breakfast we had this hill...mind you that was after this one.

Some long roads and big hills later we made it to Paris where we stopped to have a beer. I was the last one to this part so didn't get one. Here is a picture of how close we are. What? You don't see how close......see a zoomed in picture.


So we gathered as a group and all set off to The tower as a group.....well kinda.

I may have taken the lead at one point, and I "may" have stayed there and been the first person to the tower, which made me soooooooo happy.

The next day we were allowed to take Paris by storm. I had a chinese meal bought pressies for my girls and that was that.

The Eiffel Tower was small.........and far away.

Also saw a place called Klingon Court


Then I came home nice and easily with no worries.

So to summaries,

Horrible trip there.

Hurt both my knees.

Made a friend.

Was first to the tower.

I rock.

Memories......

Reading on some other peoples sites recently has sent me into a nostalgic spiral.

Firstly Penges post on Randomlinkage took me back. Yes I too cried like a little girl with pigtails when this happened. It tore my tiny world apart.

It also reminded me that I had mainly Decepticons toys where my brother had the Autobots.

It wasn't just Transformers that this happened with either. For some reason my parents always got me the Bad Guys and my older brother always got the Good Guys. I had Darth Vaders Lightsaber he had Luke Skywalker. I'm not complaining as I normally liked the ambition of the Bad Guys if nothing else.

I also once had to fight (bare knuckles no less) with my Granny to get to play with my new Transformer. I have looked online but can't seem to find it. It was an Autobot and I was very excited to have one finally. It changed into about 9 different things and my Aunt may(?) have got it from Japan when she went there. But my Granny enjoying puzzles wanted to do it first. Some tears, some shouting, an elbow to the throat and a fork in the eye later my Granny felt sorry for having kicked the crap out of me and let me have my toy.

That was a fun Xmas.

Secondly, reading this post on Team Teabag I followed the link and watched the video. As soon as the video was finished more options came up.....and one looked familiar.

This one. That's from The Adventures Of Mark Twain which was one of those films that I watched non-stop as a kid. The list is pretty long to be honest so I won't bore you with the details.

But some highlights,

All Superman films.
The Goonies
Princess Bride
All the Star Wars
Dark Crystal
Labyrinth

To name but a few. But then it got me thinking about the TV I used to watch.

We all watched Transformers and Thundercats but how many watched....

Transformaloids?

Or Thunderpants?

These were the un-sung comedy heroes of my childhood that featured on Round The Bend. I loved that show, nothing bt funny funny stuff. But once again the internet has let me down, and I can't find any videos of this brilliance so you will have to take my word for it.

Basically what I am trying to get at is I have now really reached that age, where my childhood is bloody ages ago. To the point where it only exists in my memories.

I have been listening to some old albums as well recently. Well I say old albums but I can remember them being released. I can remember going to the shops the day they came out and buying them, on a CD not digital. It couldn't have been......what? This is a mis-print this couldn't have come out over ten years ago.

WHERE THE HELL HAS MY YOUTH GONE?

I'M NOT OLD.

Good Causes

It's pledge week here at idontlikeithere.

So follow the links and donate some money.

1, The Feisty Kim is running the Race For Life for Cancer Research.

2, Mr Posthill, is running the Potters Arf Marathon for Testicular Cancer.

3, As for me? Well in July I am going to cycling all the way from London to Paris, for a charity called Whizz Kidz. This charity donates wheelchairs and electric wheelchairs to kids.

All worth while causes I am sure you will agree, so dig deep and donate some money to help motivate the three of us through our challenges ahead.

It'd be nicer then chasing us wth whips.

Look......we need to talk

Hi there interweb. Sit down, we need to have a talk.

People normally start this conversation saying something like it's not you.....it's me. But that's not the case here, it's you.

We have had some good times together, you have picked me up when I was down. You made me laugh, you taught me things. We really do have some great memories. I know you have never been just mine, and I knew that coming into this whole thing that was the case. But it's the stuff you get up to with these "others".

You are breeding idiocy, and it has to stop. Oh, you know exactly what I am talking about. No, I'm not talking about the over opinionated teenagers that log on to imdb, and the morons that harp on and on on their blogs..........some of those guys are cool.

How do I put all of this? It's like, remember when Ibiza was the place to be. Then you had Ibiza Uncovered and Ibiza Reps Going Crazy and what not? Remember how all normal people looked at those programmes in disgust? Well you have become those programmes in places and I look at you and the people you "entertain" and "represent" with disdain.

People that write stuff like this for example:

hey *BLANK* u ok? u prob dntmemba me we used to go abbey together!! seems so long ago now! wot u up 2 these days neway? xx

It's shocking to see the English Language being put across like this. I mean I know I'm not perfect and my spelling can be pretty damned bad. But I have never/will never write "dntmemba". What the hell is that anyway? Take two words press them together and drop 20% of the letters, or at least replace them with one letter which sounds like a couple of letters.

Also NUMBERS ARE NOT LETTERS NOR ARE THEY GOOD SUBSTITUTES.

Again I know I am not perfect in anyway, and there are times where I don't want to read any book. But then I get over that slump and carry on. But when I read on peoples profiles and things that they "don't make a habit of reading, unless it's for uni" it makes me cry a little inside.

The fact that you aren't doing anything about this makes you part of the problem internet, and I just want to make it clear to you that we should maybe keep a good distance from each other. If only you could make it possible for me to type on other pages in red fonts so I can point out others mistakes, and help them become better formed people. Instead of turning the human race in2 sumthin dat don care wot u fink coz i gots me beer and me tv wiv eestendrs.


Seriously Internet, sort yourself out.



I do still love you.


*single tear*

TAXI!

With my new job role I have lots of travelling to do. I have passed my theory test and am now saving up to go to Blackpool to do a two day course to pass my practical and then I can start driving about the place.

But until then I have to rely on public transport. Regular readers will be well aware that I am not a fan of this mode of getting about. I normally have to get the bus to the train station, then a train, then a taxi to wherever the hull I am going. It's a three for one.

The main issue is when I get the taxi and I give the place I need to go and they ask me what the quickest way or where abouts it is. "Is that the one near the Tesco?" I have no pigging idea to be fair as I'm new to that part of the country, didn't you just see me come out of the train station?

But today I got a new question. One that stunned me. I got off my train in Tame Bridge Parkway, which as it happens is the worlds smallest train station just outside of Birmingham. I had no money and could spy a Texaco not far off so thought I would walk up there, buy a tasty treat and get some cashback. I explained to them that I needed a taxi and asked if they had a number and also enquired as to what road we were on. "Walsall Road" was the answer. So I stepped outside and called the taxi.

Craig: Hello, I need a taxi from the Texaco Garage on Walsall road please.
Taxi person: Which one?
Craig: The texaco.
Taxi: No which road?
Craig: Oh, sorry. Walsall Road.
Taxi: (a little annoyed) Yeah I heard, but which Walsall Road?

This had me stumped. Why in the hell are there two Walsall roads in this area? More importantly why did they build a Texaco garage on both of these roads? The conversation that followed was basically me describing roughly where I was and what I could see. I mentioned the train station, and some kind of church that I could see, I even named another road name I could see and eventually we found out where I was and a taxi came and picked me up.

As I traveled around in the Taxi I started looking out of the window, as it was too bumpy to read my book, and I noticed something else that was odd. Three houses in a row, on the same side of the road. Numbered: 23, 24 then 25. ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE ROAD?

Birmingham is an odd place, and I don't like that kind of thing.


Not at all.

Best Overheard Conversation Of The Week

At Birmingham New Street Train Station.

A group of teenagers walk around laughing at very "in" jokes between themselves. They are all obviously geeks. They start daring one of them to do something, Craig's interest is aroused.

Geeky Teenager walks up to a train porter: Excuse me.

Train Porter: Yes.

Geeky Teenager: When is the next train to Babylon 5?

*pause*

Train Porter: Fuck Off.


End

Corner Of Wrong

Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on with this?

Famous, beyond awesome person turns up in shitty puppet commercial.


For no good reason.


I fear what young Mr Trench might have to say about this one.

Internet Jesus

You may or may not be aware of a certain Internet Jesus. A man called Warren Ellis.

He's a very good writer and the next book I read WILL be Crooked Little Vein. I just have to finish Valis in all of its tripped out religion mumbo-jumbo.

Anyhoo, I am friends with Warren Ellis on Myspace and I also subscribe to the Bad Signal. Which is an e-mail that he sends out every now and then when he is not over worked.

You can find him here, or even here in the White Chapel forum part.

He recently posted this as a bulletin on Myspace. I think it kicks ass.

The Three Laws Of Robotics


1.

Robots couldn't really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously.


I mean, what are you thinking? "Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn't possibly plug in the charger all on my own." Shut the fuck up.




2.

Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don't have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they're laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile.


And don't get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.




3.

What, you can't count higher than three? We're expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It's a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.








(c) Warren Ellis 2007

You should now go and get everything he has ever written and enjoy it all.

It's what I am aiming to do.

Gym, please fix me.....

I may not be as physically active at work as I once was.

I also enjoy cake.

This may have lead to me recently being reffered to as "Bacon Boy".

Yeah, I may have put on a bit of weight, and may now have a bit of a stomach on me. But I have started to take the correct course of action, as I do not want to look like a "b" on crutches.

I joined the gym.

There were two girls that came into my work during the week offering free days at the gym. I was planning on joining anyhow, so took this as a good place to get started.

You see here was me thinking I was going to go along, get shown all these different types of machines and what they do, and then be given a day to go crazy on them. Not the case. I was walked around by one f the girls as she just kinda pointed at things and said things like "That one is good for your stomach". That's it. No more explination about it. Admitidly I was a little intimidated by the whole idea of the gym. But now I'm terrified as I have no idea how to work anything and don't want to ask for fear of being put into one of these machines to find out that it's just a cleaner and more high tech device that Jigsaw (from Saw) has made, and I am about to die for not being fit.

But that aside. The equipment and the "muscle people" don't really bother me that much. They might scare me a little, but I just stay away from them and let them carry on looking at themselves which keeps them happy.

My main gripe with the gym is the locker room.

There seems to be no understanding of the male changing roms etiquette, which is quite simply

You get dressed as quickly as possible.

There was one chap that dried himself, then put his towel into his locker, got his phone out and started checking his messages. In the nip.

No need at all.

Blokes just shouldn't walk around the place, doing normal activities naked.

I'm no prude or anything, I just don't see why some men want to make the changing room, what we wish the womens changing room is like. "All naked, all the time".

And as much as I wish that dream was true, I'm sure it's not. Nor do lady sleep overs involve pillow fights. I'm sorry to burst that bubble lads, but it's a fact.

My Lucky Charm

Recently I went to Manchester to take part in an assessment day.

I like travelling around the place you get to witness all the other accents that are around our little country and also see scallies from around the Great Ilse as well.

First, off it astounds me how many different accents there are around our Great Britain. From the odd throaty accent of Liverpool to the Londoners other wise known as "Cocker-ney". It's not that far a distance yet it could be a million miles when you listen to the locals try and communicate to each other.

As I also said I like seeing what the scallies get up to. It seems to be universal that they wear scarves around their mouths, baseball caps low and hoods on to cover anything that might be recognisable. But they aren't up to anything un-toward. Just you know being scally.

Highlights from this trip were listening to the drunken Liverpudlian, who was listening to the Everton game loudly on the train, his drunk wife who couldn't stop laughing at her own joke(you see she was on the phone and said that she was in Nuneaton and saying she HADN'T EATEN), getting ripped off by a Manc git of a taxi driver and also this peice of graffitti.

This kept me amused all bloody day.



Let's see, say yes to......Crack, whores, gambling, sweets from strangers, getting into a strange mans car to go and see his puppies and keeping the blinds open at all times to keep the very friendly neighbours happy.

But Seaworld? Well you can go right to Hell mister. I'll never kneel to you.

But to get to the point, I went on an assessment day to go for a promotion.






Which I got!


A quick timeline of Craigs recent life where everything is going ace-ingly golden.

November 2006 Have an interview for Operation Manager Role. Also The Amazing Sarah starts back at work.

December 2006 Get told I will have the job in 3 months time. Also start going to the pub with TAS.

January 2007 Pass NGS (don't ask) Means I get paid more and taken advantage of more. But still more money for me!

February 2007 Start going out with TAS.

March 2007 Have an aces holiday in NY.

April 2007 Get new job! Now I have power.

June 2007 Move in with TAS.

January 2008 Get named Best New Operations Manager 2007 for my area.

February 2008 have year anniversary with TAS

February 2008 get promoted for second time in less than one year. Because I ROCK!


So you now see why I love having her around so much.


She brings more money my way.......yet more work as well.


It's an odd balance but she is also very pretty so I'll keep her around.


I'm nice like that.

Well That Sucks

I'm sorry to inform you, in case you didn't already know, that pandora is no longer available outside the US.

If you don't know Pandora is a brilliant site that works as a radio station playing only music you like. You type in an artist that you like and then Pandora, very brilliantly, plays music associated with that artist so you should like it all.

However, we not being US citizens are not as good as them so are now no longer able to listen to free music.

This may be a blessing in disguise for Col. Orange as I think he has sold all of his internal organs (apart from 1/3 of his liver, 12 inches of small and large intestine, one kidney, one lung and only enough blood to keep him alive) so that he could buy all the music he liked from this site.

But for people like me, that have a good library of music but sometimes want to listen to something new, are screwed. This might mean I have to listen to the actual radio, or worse still the AOL radio stations.

This does mean of course that I am open to suggestions of CD's that I should own to widen my taste and perhaps just have a jolly good ol' bop along to.

All suggestions welcome, apart from pop music and jazz.

This includes jazz flute.

And Being Delivered To My Door This Week.....

Plagiarism






… pure joy. Yay for cheap dvds.

...And Relax

Hello folks,

Sorry it's been a while but things are a little bit hectic this end. This is just a quick note to keep you all up to speed really.

1, Work is going 1000MPH's a minute for me at the mo. It's all well and good and I am enjoying the challenge so bring it on.

2, I won Best New Manager for my Area. I really am kicking ass.

3, I won some HMV vouchers at work. I spent them the next day on an Alfred Hitchcock boxset.

4, The Amazing Sarah and Jecka are both greatness.

That's pretty much it. I could go in to some good detail but I am trying to get flat things sorted out at the mo.


So till next time Craigy Fans

Shopped and Dropped

Today I went into town to spend the last of my Xmas money that I was given at, well Xmas.

So far I had bought a rowing machine in a pathetic attempt to get into shape. It's quality as it is the only piece of exercise machinery that lets you get a bit of a work out by sitting down.

I wasn't able to go and buy and DVD's as I had to wait until The Thursday Night came round (confusingly on Friday) to shower me with gifts. Had to wait for fear of buying the same damned thing.

All stuff from them was aces, and I was very happy.

Nirvana Unplugged In New York
Hot Fuzz (3 disc)
Invasion U.S.A.
R-Point
Millers Crossing

My mum got me a voucher for HMV. This is all well and good......but

1, She bought it in the shop. And only vouchers from the shop can be used in the shop NOT online.
2, The site is a million times cheaper (prime example Teen Wolf 1 + 2 on the site 3 Pound, in the shop 15)
3, Only vouchers bought online can be used online. You can't get online vouchers in the shop.

So I had to wait to go into the shop to spend my money on lovely shiny discs. I also bought some DVD's from ASDA as they were dirt cheap.

ASDA

Bird On A Wire £2
The Waterboy (my previous copy is scratched to buggery) £3
Bicentennial Man £2

HMV

Stranger Than Fiction £6
Science Of Sleep £3
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (2disc) £3
Battle Royale (special edition 2 Disc) £8
Battle Royale II Requiem £5
Angel-A £6
Alfred Hitchock Boxset (Including Strangers on a train ((2disc)) Dial M For Murder, The Wrong Man, Stage Fright, I Confess, Norht By Northwest) £15
King Kong Deluxe Extended Edition (3 discs) £4

I also bought myself a jumper.


I think you can agree that I did pretty well.

So thank you to everyone that gave me money, you have made me very happy.



Slight issue being that TAS and I have to buy a new book case to put the DVD's on now as they are just piled up on the already fully stocked shelves.


This also makes me very happy.

Elvis Has Left The Building

Lots of people own a PC of some form. I'm also sure that many people have had to endure the Blue Screen Of Death.

One such reader (who soley makes up a full quarter of the readership of this very site!) has written about his nightmares of everything dieing with some kind of Blue Screen all around the place. Mr Trench. His nightmares one and two.

Mr Trench may take some solice in the fact that these troubles are not just linked to him.

Most new Slot Machines these days have PC's inside them. It makes them easier to work and upgrade, should the Borg come to play bingo one day.

I was called over to a machine that had frozen. I took the technical stance, and switched it off and then back on.

Imagine my horror as I was faced with. THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.


Of course there is the chance that this doesn't enhance Mr Trenchs calm, it may in fact alarm him that the dreaded B.S.O.D. is in fact everywhere.




EVERYWHERE!

Sprinting With Scissors

If, like me you are a massive geek (and chances are you are), then you love Sci-fi. This means you love Blade Runner and have been waiting for a good version of the film with decent extras since the creation of the DVD.

I got the Blade Runner boxset for Xmas. It's in a lovely metal tin an comes with 5 discs and 5 versions of the film, 3 commentaries and more extras than you can shake a stick at.

I have spent the past 2 days watching 4 versions of the film. I missed out the International Theatrical Cut.

The Theatrical Cut 1982

This version has the voice over and also the "happy ending". I have only seen this version twice. Once ages ago when I thought it was the directors and was very annoyed by the voice over and now just to remember it. I don't like this version as the voice over adds nothing and the ending bothers me. It just goes against the feel of the film.

The Directors Cut 1992

No voice over, and the real ending. This version also has the dream sequence, which to be honest has always confused me. This was the version I would tell people to watch as it had a better feel to it, and no bloody voice over.

Workprint 198(?)

This is the version that would have been shown to the test audience to see if the film was "marketable". So this is the version that confused the crap out of people. To be honest I REALLY liked it. Different music, kinda monk style singing, which was great. It does have a voice over, but only at the end on the roof, and it's longer than in the Theatrical version which I found odd. The only problem with this cut is that they haven't cleaned it up a lot. So you still have lots of too dark scenes where you can't really see whats happening, and sometimes it's grainy. But I loved this version.

Final Cut 2007

Yep, this is the one folks. It has everything. The footage has been cleaned brilliantly for a start. It has some of the Workprint soundtrack on it. There isn't really anything major that has been added, it's not the like Special Editions of Star Wars which added crap loads and make it look stupid. No all we have here, is a little bit extra on some scenes, for example when Deckard is talking to the Snake Maker the dialouge matches......for once. Also when the dove flies off at the end it flies off onto a decent backdrop, and not just a shot of looking up on an industrial site. There are better examples, but I don't want to post spoilers. Not yet anyway. There is only about 4 mins extra footage on this version, so there really isn't anything major that has been added.

It still has the dream sequence, which still confuses me.


If you are going to get the boxset, and I suggest you do, then you need to get the one with the workprint as that is a great version to have as well.



Major spoiler, Ridley Scott Explaining the dream. Cannot stress enough MAJOR SPOILER.


Still confuses me mind.

Xmas and New Years Post

Hello folks, yes I survived th festive period but honestly only just.

It was a busy time with traveling to Stoke one day Crewe the next, that same day traveling to Middlesbrough, one day rest then back to Leicester, one more days rest before it was back to work.

But all told I enjoyed myself. I got lots of nice presents, which is always a nice bonus.

But we shall start at the beginning, The Amazing Sarah and I went to A Scally Mans wedding. It was a very nice affair. A great day was had by all, not to mention of course the Scally Man that got married, who for the first time since I have known him was unable to speak when he saw his bride. Very romantic and all that jazz. So jolly well done that man.

Next was off to The Amazing Sarahs parents house. I like visiting them, they are really nice people that are very down to earth and all are aces......apart from the little brother who kicked my ass at Fifa on his PS2. It was TAS' mums birthday on Xmas eve so we all went out for a drink for that and got pizza which I had a lot off, as I had to set a president for the Xmas dinner the next day.

Xmas day! I was woken up at 7.00am by the little brother. Cheeky little scamp was all excited and couldn't wait to see what Santa had brought. The Jolly old fat man had even managed to bring me a gift or two. The Amazing Sarahs family had got me the latest Ricky Gervais dvd, on the dvd was a sticker that you can write to and from to give it as a present. This sticker however was under the cellophane. But, The Amazing Sarah's family are so golden that they wrote ON the cellophane where the sticker was, because they are smart people and they know you leave that crap on till you are ready to watch the DVD. Brilliant.

After a stint there we came back to Leicester to pick up Jecka and had a bit of a rest. We watched the Dr Who special, Jecka cried. Then she went to bed.

Boxing Day (Jecka and My Xmas) The jolly fat man had been again, and to be fair had showered the little lady in gifts, all of which made it "The best day ever" for her. Mainly down to Dr Who dvd set and High School Musical dolls.

As for me I got:- Juggling clubs, Gremilns Boxset, Blade Runner Boxset (review to follow) and a brilliant camera. I also got money, some of which I have spent on a rowing machine.

New Years was a very little affair. Basiclly consisting of going to the pub for a few beers, then home to see the year in with the Take That special that was on. Shortly after which I passed out on the sofa. It was all far too much for me.

That is the long and short of it all.


Hope you also had a good time.