I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my biii-ike

I made it!

And here is my amazing story.....

Or skip to the bottom for a summary.

Last Tuesday I sorted the last of my things out and set off to Londonland. I booked my ticket in advance and had to book a place for my bike. It was a lovely train that I got and I was very relaxed on it.

However, when we got outside of Luton the train manager told us that there were some issues and we may have to wait a while. "No worries" I thought and carried on with my book and listening to some iPodage. about 20 mins passed and then the train pulled into Luton and stopped again with the train manager again explaining that we may have to wait a little while longer. 20 mins passed. The train manager now tells us that the train is going to terminate here as no train is going into London.

Bugger.

I get off and stand like a twonk with all my bags and my bike waiting for the next bit of information.

30mins pass.

I now meet a friendly guy from New Zealand called John. We get chatting about this and that.

Lots more people are thrown from their trains and the platforms are getting pretty rammed.

Then an announcement comes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, anyone wishing to travel to London will be pleased to know that ONE train will take them as far as *some London shite hole* and that train is going to be here in 2 seconds at...................platform..........1 RUN MORTALS TRY AND MAKE IT MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With the help of John I force myself onto the shed with wheels that turns up. I am not joking when I say that the train must have been at least three times passed capacity. I held my bike upright and had two other people holding the damned thing. We go two stops before......."ladies and gents we are going to stay here for a bit while we wait for more trains to clear the way"

20 mins pass.

"ladies and gents, we are going to terminate this train here"

Everyone piles off very annoyed.

15 mins pass in the baking sun.

Another train arrives and everyone piles on. I find it very hard to get on without John here to help me. I get on and we go two stops to our destination of "Random London hole" where we have been told a bus will take us the rest of the way.

I walk round to where the coach is meant to be and watch everyone get on. The driver then lets me know that "you can't get on here with a bike". So I am stranded 2 hours cycle from London.

I phone TAS and am just about t give up hope when.....

"Mate? there is a train coming in soon that can take you to West Hampstead"

I have no idea where that is but it sounds Londony.

I get on this train and go to this Hamstead place. I have a long conversation with some of the managers about how the hell I am going to get all the way to Croydon. They very helpfully tell me what to do. So....

I get the train to Some place.

get off and walk across London.

To London Bridge Train Station.

I get a ticket to Croydon.

I ask the lady at information where my train is meant to be as I am very confused by the hge station. She tried to communicate to me soley by pointing and grunting and seemed to be annoyed at me when I asked for some clarification.

I get to the train and as I am boarding it, some random business yuppie git is getting off and looks digusted at my bike and then me.

"Can I help you?" I say to him as I feel my last nerve bending.
"You what?" He snaps back at me.
*Snap* there goes my last nerve.
"F*CK OFF!" I shout back and then storm onto the train with all of the people getting out of my way.

Boarded first train at 13.00.

Expected arrival time 14.15.

Actual tim in the hotel.......20.30.

I was not happy.

Day 2

This was the first day of the cycle. We were late turning up as Google maps directions are a bi shit to be honest. But we got there.

And so began our journey on our bikes. About 30 mins in we hit a hill. In Croydon. That was equal to Everest. It was bloody huge and I was ignorant of my gears. Basically you have the three big discs next to your foot (gears 1 - 3) and then you have the ones attached to the back wheel (1 - 7). I would only use 2 - 7 or 3 -7. So I found this hill very bloody difficult and gave up very early and walked to damned thing. What a start.

The rest of the day was a collection of massive hills and upset for me. There was one hill, let me repeat this ONE HILL, that was 3 miles long. Always up. Never ending.

I did, however, meet Skye. She also hated hills, so we walked them together.

Here I am at the ferry station.

Croydon to New Haven. New Haven to Dieppe Hotel. 66 Miles.

Day 3.

This day was going to be the toughest. 93 miles. With lots of hills. So Skye and I set off, with a quick stop off at a French chemist to try and get a knee bandage.

We came across a big bridge.

It had a great view from the middle.

Imagine you were there as you look from left and the all the way to the right.

I did manage to work out my gears and thus managed to climb a massive hill all the way!

It was a horrible day that had everything. We got caught in a storm and I had no rain coat so got soaked. But we managed to get to the water stop where I was given a water proof. Here I am modelling it with Skye.

We made it through and we were very happy with ourselves. Skye and I made a good team, there were times when she was ahead of me and it gave me the determination to catch up, and like wise. It was good.

Everyone felt like they had managed something today.

Dieppe to Liseux (twinned with Taunton) 93 miles.

Day 4.

I was mentally ready for this day. 73 miles seemed like such an easy task after 93 miles.

I can't really remember much about this day, apart from the fact that my other knee went so I had to get another knee bandage with my crap French and rude chemists it took a while.

I did however find the town where every French person lives.

Maybe it was named because it's what the French say more than any other word, I don't know.....but I think it was.

It felt like we had been cycling for ever and a quick check on the map told us we were about 6 miles away.....only to go round the corner and we were there! Result.

Liseux to Vernon 73 miles.


Day 5

Last day! This was the hardest day of my life. I honestly felt like I couldn't physically do any more. But we made it.

Straight after breakfast we had this hill...mind you that was after this one.

Some long roads and big hills later we made it to Paris where we stopped to have a beer. I was the last one to this part so didn't get one. Here is a picture of how close we are. What? You don't see how close......see a zoomed in picture.


So we gathered as a group and all set off to The tower as a group.....well kinda.

I may have taken the lead at one point, and I "may" have stayed there and been the first person to the tower, which made me soooooooo happy.

The next day we were allowed to take Paris by storm. I had a chinese meal bought pressies for my girls and that was that.

The Eiffel Tower was small.........and far away.

Also saw a place called Klingon Court


Then I came home nice and easily with no worries.

So to summaries,

Horrible trip there.

Hurt both my knees.

Made a friend.

Was first to the tower.

I rock.